No longer in denial - Labor Day is no misnomer

I adore holidays.

As long as a holiday offers an opportunity for a little rest and relaxation along with a sprinkling of mildly amusing dementia – I’m in favor of it.

But I have come to realize that Labor Day is no holiday.

In fact, Labor Day is the “anti-holiday.”

As the wild and wooly bunch of hardened Del Fuegos gang members in Wild Hogs might put it, Labor Day is a “poser.”

It only poses as a holiday.

Because as we all know, Labor Day is the symbolic end of summer - and that’s nothing to celebrate in my book.

Those of us who have endured year after year of sadly trying to disguise the truth about Labor Day must at some point face the reality that Labor Day is just the harbinger of all the work staring us in the face the following day.

Labor Day is a veritable “Debbie Downer” of supposed holiday celebrations.

And significant in its dismal holiday performance is its unfortunate situation at the front end of the workweek.

The story would be a little different if Labor Day were observed on Friday.

But Monday?

That’s a stretch for even the absolutely insane.

I’ve worked for a good many years.

And frankly I’m fed up with this Monday “holiday” that only prolongs the dreaded back-to-work scenario.

Sunday evening is bad enough – what with watching the countdown to Monday and another workweek.

But with a holiday on Monday – which as we all know is already the most dreaded day of the week – now it’s a day of unending misery and dismay.

Because the laborers of the world know that the day after means back to work…and you have all day long to think about it.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m all in favor of honoring those who labor day in and day out.

Hey, I’m one of them.

But, let’s have a day off that can actually bring about some relaxation and anticipation – like Labor Day Friday.

Whoever makes these Monday-off holiday rules - and my suspicion is that some government employee running amok comes up with these lame ideas - should rethink it.

Being naturally inquisitive I have looked into this perplexing and frustrating state of affairs.

And through my typically highly dependable employment of the three points of sound research principles (Google, Yahoo! and Wikipedia) I have unearthed the truth about Labor Day.

It began in 1882 as a day off for the “working man” – and yes, I have an itsy-bitsy problem with the terminology, but rising above it, I will continue.

In 1894 Labor Day became a federal holiday – and yes, just as I suspected, Congress had a hand in this.

Kind of explains things, doesn’t it?

I firmly believe that Labor Day, as currently observed on Monday, is indeed a day of labor – and it should be the opposite.

As a major holiday, Labor Day just isn’t cutting it.

In any case, here we are stuck with this white elephant of a holiday – we don’t want to get rid of it entirely - we just don’t like it at the front door of the workweek.  I propose moving it to the back porch, that being Friday.

Write your congressman – or congresswoman.

Demand that Labor Day be moved to Friday.

Take a vote.

Or don’t.

Just move it.

By my estimation, Congress is out of session the entire month of August anyway, so what’s a few more days into September?

Labor Day Monday is simply too depressing, too frenetic and too much ado about a feeble holiday trying to pose as a major celebration of relaxation and good times.

Labor Day is irrefutably no misnomer.

Labor Day is … a day of laborious misery.

I am no longer in denial.

I feel better.

When’s the next holiday?